Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Oh god it's open bar.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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