Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
