Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
