are you so shy because you have an std?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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