K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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