Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
