it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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