Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
