your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
