You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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