Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
