i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
