I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
