Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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