What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
