Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
