FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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