trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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