Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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