Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
