You just made me feel so damn special
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
