Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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