I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think my moral compass just broke
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
