Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
