i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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