They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
