i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
no, he came in my armpit
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My vagina is officially offended.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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