You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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