I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
