you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
