if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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