Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
