i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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