Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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