when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
