Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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