She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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