He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
