im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
