I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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