after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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