In the future we'll all be gay
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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