So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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