If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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