Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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