That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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