why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
