His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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