clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
