Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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