umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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