There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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