No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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