Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
