38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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