wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
