Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
