It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
