As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
