Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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