Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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