quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
