theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize