Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
