Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
